ally chua

Sometimes you discover a song that is so absolutely amazing you can’t help raving about it.

This is Gaslight Anthem. This is ‘Even Cowgirls Get the Blues’.  It’s a beautiful blues/rock song with an awesome opening riff that still gives me chills when I hear it.

But all I want is for you to be alright and satisfied
Brothers and sisters know that anytime or late at night,
If you call I will answer, I’m open ears though tired eyes
But the world closed it’s arms on us now

Eternal Sunshine is one of the best movies ever made. Every time I read the quotes from the movie, I get sad.

Clementine: You know me, I’m impulsive.
Joel: That’s what I love about you.

________________________

Joel: [narration as Clementine acknowledges him by raising her coffee mug] Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?

________________________

Clementine: Too many guys think I’m a concept, or I complete them, or I’m gonna make them alive. But I’m just a fucked-up girl who’s lookin’ for my own peace of mind; don’t assign me yours.
Joel: I remember that speech really well.
Clementine: I had you pegged, didn’t I?
Joel: You had the whole human race pegged.
Clementine: Hmm. Probably.
Joel: I still thought you were gonna save my life… even after that.

________________________

[as Joel and Clementine eat out, he thinks about the other glum-looking couples in the restaurant]
Joel: Are we like couples you see in restaurants? Are we the dining dead?

________________________

Joel: I don’t see anything I don’t like about you.
Clementine: But you will! But you will, and I’ll get bored with you and feel trapped, because that’s what happens with me.
Joel: Okay.

What is history? Dan Dunne (Ryan Gosling) asks.

Change moves in spirals, not circles. For example, the sun goes up and then it goes down. But everytime that happens, what do you get? You get a new day. You get a new one. When you breathe, you inhale and you exhale, but every single time that you do that you’re a little bit different then the one before. We’re always changing. And its important to know that there are some changes you can’t control and that there are others you can. – Dan

I don’t know why but this film has been on my mind these few days.

Half Nelson is a 2006 film starring Ryan Gosling. It’s kind of indie, it’s kind of slow, and I only picked it up because I heard Gosling was fantastic in it.

Ryan Gosling stars as this inner-city teacher, Dan, teaching in a high school. Inside the classroom, he uses unconventional teaching methods to inspire his students to look at history in a new way.

He’s charismatic and brilliant in the classroom. But outside of it, Ryan is a junkie. He started taking drugs as a way to escape the pain of life, and now he’s a drug addict spending most of his time either on a high or seeking it.

Ironic, then, that a teacher who inspires his students to challenge conventional thinking is one who need drugs to escape reality. That while he teaches his students to defy society, he’s someone who has already been defeated by it.

***

Can it be possible to compartmentise two sections of your life to a point where your bad habits doesn’t destroy the rest of your life?

In the movie Dan couldn’t do it. His student caught him during his drug high and eventually his behaviour caused him his job.

There’s a monologue he had in the movie that I really felt deeply for. He related how he used to be worse; that drug rehabilitation didn’t work for him, but now he’s in better control of his habit because the kids, the students he taught, kept him going.

I guess I’ve always believed that for all the vices I’ve, I am always in control of them. By that I mean that if push comes to shove, I would be able to stop, and though it may be disconcerting and a hard habit to break, I won’t die from the lack of it.

I don’t know whether it’s true or not. You don’t know your limits until it has been tested. And better yet… whether you feel the urge to stop.